So this Polish guy walks into a bar...

Glorious views of the Tatras mountains graced the windows of our speedy coach on the smooth rail ride heading through eastern Slovakia -- out of the mountain wilderness then north and eventually east again to Krakow on the other side of the Tatras. If you look carefully in the reflection on the mountain photo taken from the train you can see Andrea and I snacking while we snap pictures during the trip. Quite odd that "less developed" countries like Slovakia and Poland have faster and more pleasant rail transit than mighty America - but there are fewer SUVs on the road and hardly any McDonalds so the overall quality of life is not *really* up to our high standards...

Krakow is gorgeous in a "rebuilt after the devastation of WWII" kind of way. After being occupied and eventually smashed and burned by the Nazis, then "liberated" by the Russian military, Krakow natives used photos to recreate an ambiance in the old town that would remind them of their history; cute little ancient streets and charming buildings with wonderful small restaurants and cafes around every corner. Even our apartment has a vintage faux-17th century doorway. Sure, cafes are nice, but every town in Europe has cafes -- what Poland has that the rest of Europe lacks are their fabulously wonderful bar mleczny; translation: "milk bars."

Milk bars are subsidized restaurants dishing out heaps of authentic local cuisine, with lots of locals dining next to you, all at wonderfully low prices accompanied by smiling "You're an American, aren't you? Welcome to Poland!" service. Cheap, delicious grub in a country where people seem to genuinely like you just because of your accent; what's not to like? Cabbage, potatoes, soups, sausage, more cabbage, and yes, even milk. Menus are extensive and rarely provided in English, so we prepare with our guidebook to memorize what numbered items we want to oink out on well before we approach and order using the numbered list and a lot of pointing.

Occasionally we venture outside of milk bars for meals (only when we can't find any of them open, of course) and are rewarded with the best cabbage soup in the universe. As a "downside" each and every waiter we meet in this fine country pressures us to quaff massive quantities of Polish "bison" vodka mixed with apple juice- dangerously tasty and therefore having enormous potential to negatively impact one's workplace productivity. Fortunately milk bars don't serve alcohol, we can repel the peer pressure from waiters by ordering small amounts, and anyway we don't have to worry about pesky things like "work" so everything is staying well within our rigorous vacation control limits...

When not gorging ourselves on tasty Polish cuisine, we stroll historic streets admiring monuments to the uprising of Poles against their former oppressors and gazing at statues of Polish luminaries like Copernicus. See the big C pictured on the far left with a hep model of the solar system he probably put together with pop sickle sticks and some glue. Just imagine what the guy could've done if he had a nice HP laptop.

The Poles don´t encourage intellectual pursuits to the detriment of sport and physical conditioning. There are many cheap fitness center choices, and quite a bit of community messaging on the importance of eating right and exercise. For example, note the over-developed abdominals on these gents holding up the balcony of a downtown office building.

Since it is now so modern and beautiful, it is easy to forget that Warsaw was completely wiped out by the end of WWII, but locals make sure you remember with very well executed museums that convey the extent of the devastation (see photo to the left taken at the end of the war). Poles generally think of the US as their big ally to the west, and easily forgive that the NY Times originally referred to the Jewish ghetto uprisings against the Nazis an "over-reaction".

The Soviet years were hard on Poland -- but the pride of the Polish people in the Solidarity movement that started in Gdansk and eventually led to the fall of their communist masters is what came through loud and clear at most of the museums we visited.

Like most of Eastern and Central Europe, Socialist realism artwork is in large supply - yep, I am referring to those well-muscled emotionless blocky statues of workers and soldiers bravely going about their communist duties for the good of the neighborhood.

The Palace of Culture and Science was in this style and especially impressive; 3.3 hectares with 3300 rooms. Meeting hall for 3K people, theaters, swimming pool, etc. It is still the tallest building in Warsaw -- wow. It may have been good to be at the top of the communist Poland food-chain, but I expect that actually it was just downright scary most of the time. Visiting the communist museums in these former Soviet countries send chills down our spines.

I´ve been a bit out of touch with developments in the US. Is it true that Social Realism art forms are gaining more fans and that new installations are popping up all over? Let me know, please.. and keep an eye out for an exhibition near you.